make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
