she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
