guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
