Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I love having hate sex.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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