He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
