in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
