summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
