ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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