So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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