don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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