please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
