well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
