i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Help me help you realize you are a moron
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
