Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
