How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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