she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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