I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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