Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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