On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
