And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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