If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
