Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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