i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
