i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
