The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
