that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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