I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
