so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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