His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
