their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
