Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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