I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
