My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
