There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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