I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Screwed.edu
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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