Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
