? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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