I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
