He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
