Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
