marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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