I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
