just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Operation Purity has been aborted
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
