Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
