He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
