We're facebook friends in real life
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
