I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
