shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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