i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
