his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
