I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
ttyl tear gas
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
